Saturday, June 03, 2006

Life and it's ironies....

I was reminded by my mom today that they were supposed to be in the Philippines for a funeral. *sigh* The past week has been a rough one both mentally and physically...let me back up about 4 week so you all can understand what I'm talking about.

I got a phone call from my mom telling me that one of my uncles, Uncle Allen was really sick. He'd been in and out of the hospital for a few weeks, going through dialysis at least 4 times a week because his kidneys were failing. Anyway, he wasn't doing very well and he really wanted my parents to come and visit. He was under the impression that he was on his last leg of the journey and he really wanted them to be there. My mom and uncle were really close. Anyway, a few days later my mom calls again and tells me that my Uncle Ariel (Uncle Allen's twin) is coming back to the Philippines from Japan to give one of his kidneys to his brother. So we were all pretty relieved after hearing that news. My parents were to go back home when my uncles' surgery was scheduled. Here's where the twist comes in. My mom called me last Sunday as we're heading to church and tells me that my Uncle ARIEL passed away. At first I was confused and I thought it was my uncle with the kidney problems, but nooo...my mom cleared up the confusion and said that my Uncle Ariel (the healthy one) died in the hospital of pneumonia!! OMG! I guess I wasn't the only one that was confused. Everyone kept calling and sending their condolences about my Uncle Allen. He had to keep telling everyone, "No. I'm still here. It was my brother!" To make things worse, they couldn't harvest the kidney because the infection spread to all his organs making the donor organ unacceptable. So, now he's in a worse situation. He's lost a brother and is now back on the list of folks waiting for a kidney donor.

They were both so excited to be seeing my parents before all this happened . They kept asking about me and my brother and my mom told them about my kids and Jaime's kids and how she was going to bring a ton of pictures to show them while they were recovering...oh, God...this is hard to write. My uncle was only nine years older that I am. What the fuck am I doing here? I want to go to the Philippines so bad. I want to see my family and visit my grandma....she's gonna be 89 this year. There's a big family reunion scheduled for the end of July and I can't go. There's no way that we could possibly even think of going at $1100.00 a pop per person for my family of 5. Oh, and did I mention even if I attempted to go, I may not have a job when I came back? So many wonderful things are going for me right now but, on the flip-side, this....*sigh*....this is when I could just scream until I had no voice...or sing until I had no voice.....either way it would be therapeutic...ah and did I mention the fact that I'm feeling lost while in the middle of all this?! I suppose it's a good thing that I am working. I can keep my mind on something else for the meantime.....Pray for me and for my family.....there's a lot more going on, but I don't have enough time tonight to write about it.

11 comments:

Erin said...

Irony indeed. I'm so sorry about your uncles, and about the fact that you can't go visit.

I love you hun.

ML~
~E

me said...

Prayers? Of course! I wish I could do more. Condolences. We are in a trippy time of life right now. Be gentle with yourself and while you're fretting and being with and there for others also be with ~YOU~ too.

Hugs to you, dear.

I'm with Erin!

Luv ya!

Mikey

westcoastmama said...

I am one of the luckiest people in the world having you guys around. I was trying so hard not to cry when I was posting this, but I failed. *shrug* We can't be strong all the time, right? I still try, though...I love you guys too.

Joyce Ellen Davis said...

Bummer. I hope they take a video camera and bring back lots of pictures. It's not the same as being there, but it helps. My daughter-in-law, from the Philippines, wasn't able to go back this year for her father's funeral, and she felt really bad. They sent her a video. It helped.

You have been such a great help to others--wish we could do more to help you!

westcoastmama said...

Thank you so much...it really stinks when you can't do anything about it. You're right about the video. I think my mom is going to do exactly that. :-)

No need to do more for me. Just knowing that you are out there for me is a wonderful blessing and a great relief.

Erin said...

M~
No, you don't have to be strong all the time. That's a lesson I've had to learn lately. Trust me, just don't even try, it makes you feel all ugly inside.

And by the way, miss 4'11' gonna kick my ass, I'll just put my hand on your forehead and hold you at arms length until we get to the huggin' part ;)

You're seriously only 4'11"? Pardon my total piggishness here but, that's kinda hot ;)

haha, yup, I'm on a manic high tonight. LOVIN IT!

Love YOU
~E

me said...

Someone say 4'11"?

hubba hubba

TOTALLY HOT!

hehe

westcoastmama said...

LMAO!! You two. Geez. Yes, I'm all of 4'11" and 107 lbs. Ya'll could drop kick me with no problem. Hot, huh? lol...so I've been told. ;-)

I love you guys. I'm so blessed to have you around. The more dorks the better, I say!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!

Erin said...

hey shorty, watch what you're callin me!

haha, I weigh more than you. I've never known anyone smaller than me! OK, well, technically, I KNEW you, I just didn't know you were littler. Is littler a word?

So how was your day today anyway?

love you!
~E

westcoastmama said...

Littler? Hmm...I'm gonna have to look that one up! lol...

My day was okay...I have a case of the June Glooms....it sucks, but I'm hangin in there.

Love you too!

Sir James Eric Watkins said...

. .
'
~~~


Damn. this shit sucks.

And saddens my soul. but.

but there is no but. no magic words. just life in all its phases. The Alpha. And omega. And pain, it loves us, the poets, the dreamers, it loves us most, an odd form of favortisism.

You're in my thoughts.

~ James