Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Long time coming

A cross post from Moontowncafe.com

I've been in a strange mood lately. I feel almost manic...so many things overloading me. At times I'm content and 30 seconds later, it's bitch mode. It's made for some really interesting poetry though. Thank goodness for this outlet!!

******************************************
The Final Farewell (I didn't want to)
5/28/06

I swore off good-byes
slammed the door shut
and barred it closed,

but the fucking window
kept opening-rushes wide
as you sped by

I believed in you
and your grandeur
If only you'd done right by me

I'm moving on, though-
been on the edge so long
I thought of stepping over,
but you pushed me off instead

Bitch-slapped with a final "fuck you"
I thought I'd bleed to death,
but, vampire that you are,
you'd already bled me dry

Crazy, you think?
Yes, I was
in believing you could be anything
other than what you are

******************************************
So much of nothing....

back-lashed,broken window dreaming
fuck-you's all around me

Why did I let this happen?

If I'd have known
I'd go through all this pain
I would have asked to be
sent back

No more, please.

I've had my fill
of "who-the-hell-cares-
unless-it's-about-me"bullshit

Selfish? Me?
I wish I was,
but I would hurt

Not that it would matter
anyway...

'cause I've got whiplash
from looking back too quickly

trying to find
you attached
to everyone elses voice

Sunday, May 28, 2006

Blogging...it's an addiction

Blogging....it's an addiction
Current mood: calm
Category: Blogging


Written yesteday, May 27, during my lunch break. Yes, I'm addicted

Memorial Day weekend
I've 15 minutes before I have to go back to work. Blogging has become such a huge part of my life that I'm writing (yes, writing) in my notebook during my lunch! No, Erin, you are not alone lol. There's the cutest little boy sitting at the table beside me eating lunch with his family. His name is Jacob (I was paying attention) and he's got the curliest hair. I just want to take him home! He reminds me of my guys when they were "little". *sigh*

I've been feeling a little "off" the past couple of days. I'm not completely sure of the reason why, but, apparently, it's not only me. Everyone in the stor h as been complaining about the same thing. It's as if the moon has been full ALL MONTH!! Really stinks, ya know? The only thing good that's come out of this week is the fact that I've been able to write creatively even though I've been in this funk! As long as I don't get writers block, all will be right with the world. Okay, maybe not all, but much will be right.

So, James has been doing a lot with "Promise of Light Publications." The site looks great; and I've been writing maniacally for this project. I must say, it feels really good. Deadlines and themes are good for me right now. I need something to keep me focused coz I've had too much on my mind lately....way too emo....I think I have spring fever. My mind is EVERYWHERE lately. It's a little frustrating which makes me bitchy. *sigh*

Well, I goot go back. It was great sitting outside and writing today too. I think I'll have to make this a habit. I don't care if people look at tme questioningly. It's none of their business anyway. Okay...going now...I won't think about the call that I've been waiting for. That's an entirely different story for another day!

Bye!!

Miami part 2-this is gonna be long

Okay...so my intention was to cook dinner for the girls Friday night, coz I wanted to and our room was equipped with a cute little kitchenette, but that didn't quite happen. After we finally got out of the hotel, we hit Lincoln Ave and did the "girl" thing and went crazy in the shops. OMG!! The things they had there. It was like shopping paradise, for those of you who like to shop with little or A LOT of money. Dude. They had EVERYTHING. I had no intention of buying anything, but it sort of just....happened lol.

Betty was on a mission and we came along for the ride. She had a list of all the shops and sites that we had to hit while we were out on the town. It was great coz, well, I didn't have to do much thinking. It's so nice when someone else does that for you every now and then! :-) So, anyway, we walked and walked for blocks and ended up at this crazy shopped that was so packed with people and STUFF called "Rainbow". We were there forever. I'm talking at least an hour in just one shop. I was totally NOT going to buy anything, but, damnit, I couldn't restrain myself when I saw these shoes. OMG! They are so hot. I'll have to post pics of these shoes just because they are so HOT! Btw, if I say that phrase a lot, please don't hate. I must have heard it said at least a MILLION times that weekend and I still hear it A LOT! LOL. I couldn't pass them up, seriously. And, the price was just...well, you know what I mean. Oh, and Danait and Betty both found shoes and cute outfits. I was really good though. I spent the least ;-P

We shopped and shopped and, omg, did I mention shop?! Betty knows how to spend that dough! We went into this really high-end boutique. I totally wanted to stay in there longer. Dude, they were handing out shots and drinks left and right. Yes, it a boutique. It was an experience. I tried on this tunic/mini-dress(on me anyway! lol) with the shoes that I bought and I WANTED IT! It would have been a total splurge for me though, especially at $300.00, but it fit and felt so good. It was the only outfit I would have considered wearing "braless", let's put it that way, coz the cut was just that way, uh-huh...did I really say that?! Hmm... I guess I did. lol

It's at about 3:00p.m. now and we still haven't eaten. While walking up Lincoln Ave. we see this tall, hot-looking (according to Danait-okay, he was cute ;-p) Italian guy in front of a restaurant called AGUA. He stops us and gives us his card and we tell him we'll be back after a little more shopping. Right across from the restaurant was this vintage store, which was the greatest. I could have spent hours in that place. I love antiques and such. And, just next door to that was this shop that we had to go into. They had the coolest pieces in the window. They looked like large silk scarves that you'd wear as a blouse or a dress. I SO wanted one of the tops. I could probably make one and it would look just as hot! But, omg, the silk was great and it was an Egyptian pattern with bright reds, purples and golds. *sigh* Another dream top at $295.00! Oh, yeah, did I mention the fact that the girls were looking for dresses to wear to a summer wedding? No? Well, that's why we hit so many shops....that and for the hell of it!

At this point I'm about to pass out from lack of sleep and starvation, so we head over to the tall Italian guy. He seated us at our table and Dani strategically placed herself for the best view. She has a thing for cute Italian guys lol, but who doesn't? Anyway, it was perfect. The seating was outside and we had so much fun people watching as we shared each others food. So much for cooking dinner! The food and converstation was awesome.

After our very late lunch/early dinner, we head back to the hotel, but only after we stop at a shop that sold nothing but jewelry. OMG. It was tough keeping my wallet closed there! We spent quite a while in that place. I even brought the card home with me to check out their online store....I know. I know....bad Mary. Then we stopped into a store that we could've sworn we passed up, but were in earlier! Just goes to show how many shops we hit! Betty found more clothes, the denim skirt she was looking for and Danait found a dress for the wedding that looked like it was made for her. We she came out of the fitting room everyone gasped and said "OMG! It's perfect." It really was. She looked gorgeous. With her wallet being $150 dollars lighter we finally walked out of there and headed back to the hotel for some R&R.

The pics at the pool that I posted are what we did after I finally checked into my room after 6:30 p.m. It wasn't really restful coz there were a bunch (about 7) of drunken young men throwing the football back and forth across the length of the pool. Dude...there were beer cans all over and they'd been at it all day. How, do you ask, did we know this? Well, one of the guys brought hotdogs out for everyone and he dropped one and was GOING TO EAT IT ANYWAY!!! That is, until his friend dissueded him and he decided to throw it across the length of the pool instead. It happily went kerplunk into the deep end of the pool just missing Betty by a couple of feet. Ah, yesss....that marked the start of the drunken maddness.

After the pool we walked, in our wet bathing suits and towels, to the mini market down the street. (I would have never done that anywhere else, but in Miami! lol) We picked up some snacks(oreos and chocolate chip cookies), orange juice, eggs, bread and sparkling wine for a parcel of $52 dollars (yes 52!!) and headed back to the hotel so we could get ready for the evening's adventure.


More still to be continued...........

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Some Miami Pics as promised

More pics later. This was not even a fraction of the evidence the girls got!

A really cute picture of the girls at the Clevelander. This guy was totally crushin' on Dani. He was nice, though.
Friday, just before we grab dinner and hit the street. The room was a disaster!


Proof of the Mimosa's that we had. They were so good!


Betty and I. Don't laugh. We're in the shallows. Danait and I can't swim!! lol


Danait and Betty in the pool


Danait and I shopping on Lincoln Ave

Miami-part one

Sorry I took so long. These are the ones I had on my stinky disposable, but they turned out okay. All I gotta say is it was freaking marvelous.

Let me chronicle the journey for you from the very beginning....
Thursday, May 11, 2006-Woke up exhausted coz the hubby and I had a tiff the night before. My friend, who lives in Miami, happened to call me the night before I'm to fly out. Anyway, make a long story short, hubby has issue with said friend and the irony of it all is I wasn't even going to see him!! Ugh. Didn't matter. We went round and round so I didn't fall asleep till 2 a.m.

Went to work 11-7 p.m. and had one hell of an effed up day. Guest were demanding (lots of hand-holding required) and I had a boat load of orders to complete in the frameshop BEFORE I could leave. Can you say "stressed"?

Got home, fam-bam grabbed my bags and off to the airport. And, no, I did not eat dinner. Got to Long Beach with an hour and a half to spare (thank goodness), checked my large, VERY HEAVILY OVERLOADED suitcase and headed up to the restaurant and got some grub with the kids until it was time to board the plane.

8:30 p.m. I finally head out to the gate to get ready for boarding. The kids all give me hugs and tell me to have a good time. Hubby gives me a really big hug and several kisses and, as he waves me off, tells me to have fun, enjoy myself and not to think about anything but relaxing. (He was saying this as much to himself as he was to me coz of the night before). I waved them off and headed to the gate. Security was tight and the airport was PACKED! The plane to Fort Lauderdale was to board at 9:15, but the gate was so congested with special needs passengers that we didn't finish boarding until about five minutes to 10. Long Beach is a really small airport and the reason it took so long is you actually walk out onto the tarmack and board the plane that way. Anyone with a wheelchair or children required a lot of time. Anyone tired yet? No? Well, you will be.

10:15 p.m. Everyone is finally boarded and we're ready for take off. I was lucky enough to sit with two filipina women that were freaking hilarious! They were headed to Miami via Fort Lauderdale too and they were just as tired and restless as I was. We all agreed that it would be a very interesting flight with so many children on board. It was loud already and, as sure as the sun shines, when we took off, one of the young ones started screaming bloody murder! I felt bad coz, being a mom, you knew the childs ears had to be hurting from the change in pressure. But, from a tired, bitchy feeling woman who worked all day, that was the last thing I wanted to hear. From the way we three stared at each other when we heard the crying, we were all in agreement on one thing....GIVE THE CHILD BENADRYL, or give us alcohol! lol

The flight was fairly short, just a little over four hours, so that means I didn't really sleep much, as if I expected any differently. Not too much turbulence, but that doesn't bother me anyway. So, here I was in Florida finally with a total of five hours of sleep from the night before and the night before that combined. It's 5:15 a.m. and I'm wide awake. Hmm...go figure. I grab my bags and step out into the thick east coast air. Ah, yes...it feels like home.

The drive to Haddon Hall, in the center of South Beach, was uneventful and took about 40 minutes, which wasn't too bad. I got to the hotel at just before 7 a.m. and head to my friends room (120). Why you wonder do I not check in to my own room? Well, they wouldn't let me check in until 3 p.m. So, I chilled in there room. It was sooo good to see Danait (Dani)! We hugged and laughed and we couldn't believe we were in MIAMI!! We talked for about 45 minutes while Betty snoozed away. Finally sleep came over the both of us and we figured we should get a little sleep before hitting the town later on in the day. So (funny visual coming) we both crawled into bed. There was only one queen sized bed in this room and there were THREE women in it! I'm so glad I'm small. Dani and I talked and giggled for a few minutes more and we totally knocked out. When we finally woke up, it was 11:30, which presented another little problem...three women and ONE bathroom!! Yeah...we didn't get out of the hotel until close to 1:00. Oh...but it was so worth it!!

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

from my myspace blog

Well, I didn't get much sleep
Current mood: busy
Category: Blogging


So irritating too...I had too much on my mind, but nothing in particular. Isn't that silly? I swear, I'm a walking talking oxymoron at the moment. *sigh*

So, I got some pics back from Miami, but they aren't the really good ones. I just emailed my friend telling her that I'd even pay for the cd, if it'll get it here to me earlier lol!! The pictures the girls took on their digital were so much FUN!!!! OMG!

I know I promised to tell you all about it, so what I've been doing is journaling the events on my notepad and then I'll post it with the pictures later. I feel so much better compared to last Monday. Ugh....I was so horribly jet lagged, it wasn't even funny. And, I had to go to work that way. It was terrible. Everything hurt and I still felt kinda dizzy. lol...I'll tell you all about that later. Till then, I gotta go. My hubby's parents are coming for an extended visit, so I have to get the guestroom/my studio ready for habitation....eerrff...

Catcha later!
Currently listening: Mind, Body & Soul
By Joss Stone Release date: By 28 September, 2004 (btw-I love this cd!!)

Monday, May 15, 2006

I have so much to write

Okay, I have all of ten minutes before I have to go back to work, but I just had to stop by and say how much I missed everyone. I so wish I could have stayed a couple of extra days like my friends did, but I really did miss you all.

I HAVE JETLAG FROM HELL!!! I feel like I'm still hungover from the weekend. heh...I probably am a little bit. You know how plane rides can triple those effects. Ugh. But, I must say I had one hell of a grand time. However....my new motto is "No drinking and dancing". And, I'm swearing off of sour apple martini's. NO MORE, PLEASE!! Don't even show me an empty glass! *shiver* The aftermath was NOT pretty....lol

Now that I've given you a bit of what happened. I'm sure you'll enjoy the rest of the story. Be back later!

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Back from Miami

So very tired everyone!! I got all of about 8 hours of sleep in the past three days. I'll post pics when I get them back. :-)

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Ouch....

In one fell swoop I went from a glorious high to a thunderous crash. I'm still going to Miami (happy about that) but what do I do with the rest of my life? Why can't my husband just accept the charissmatic and caring person that I am? I hurt. I don't even want to think about what I am facing. If I don't have his trust, then what do I have? WHAT?!!

FUCK!!!! WHAT IS THERE TO MAKE ME WANT TO COME BACK HOME?! What..............

Come and get it!!!

Moontown Cafe's first publication is out and features a vast array of Moontown's finest. Order yours today. You won't be sorry.....

Let's get the "Lunar Companion" out on everyones coffee table!!!


http://www.lulu.com/content/287222

Leaving for Miami tomorrow night

So...the two weeks are finally up!!! Yay. Physically, I'm here, but my mind went on vacation DAYS ago!! lol This should be a blast. Hope the flight I chose doesn't kick my arse. I have a feeling I'm going to be running on fumes for the next few days....Oh hell!! Like I really care! A retreat is what I need. My creative juices have already started flowing. I wonder what sitting on the beach watching the sun go down will do, eh? Yeah....that sounds verra, verra niiiicce. =-)

Keep me in your prayers everyone!!! I'll be back on Sunday!

Monday, May 08, 2006

Monday Morning Blues

Heh...I haven't dropped into my own blog lately. Well, okay, I have, but I just haven't had the compulsion to write. At least, not in here. lol I was supposed to take one of the kids to school today, but my husband ended up taking all three of them. So, I suddenly have a little bit of time. I really should be doing some groceries, but I'll have time before having to go to work (ugh...do I have to?)

Mornings wouldn't be so freaking hard it they weren't so gray. Geez. It's only May and we've already hit the June gloom. Makes it hard to function when the weather's whacked. *sigh* I guess I just have to deal with it. I just don't feel like myself this morning. I woke up and my knees and ankles were killing me. I'm one of those odd people that can feel the weather change in there bones. lol...It's terrible sometimes. Like today. All I want to do is SLEEP! Aaarrgh!! Not gonna happen though. I have waaaay too much to do.

On the up side, I have started packing my junk for my mini-vacation. This has been my only real motivation lately, but I'm really excited about it. My need to run away for a few days is being filled!! YAY!! I have to make sure I don't forget the gifts I'm bringing with me along with all the rest of the miscellaneous stuff that I think I may need. One can never be too sure. I've forgotten too many things on little overnight trips that have ticked me off. I don't want to do that when I'm that far away from home!

Alrighty, then. I'm gonna be a good girl and take care of my errands. I have a feeling it's gonna be a looooonnngg day! Wish me luck! :-D

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

from my myspace blog

damn
Current mood: aggravated
Category: Blogging

I fell asleep about an hour ago and someone called me...don't know who coz their number was hidden...and now I can't go back to sleep. I feel strange...my head keeps buzzing...and I have this weird premonitory (I think that's the word?) hum all around me. What the heck is going on?! Someone is thinking really hard about contacting me. I have a couple of guesses, but I won't know until I hear from them. *sigh*


On an upside, I'm all situated with my flight and room reservation for Miami. I'm really looking forward to this. We're right off the beach and in the middle of EVERYTHING in the ART DECO district. South Beach, here I come!! Don't laugh or anything, but I'm already thinking about the stuff I'm gonna pack. I don't travel much so I tend to over prepare. It's better to figure out that you're forgetting something BEFORE you get to your destination! Comfortable shoes is number one on my list! lol We're gonna be walking or doing the taxi so, yeah, comfy shoes. Anyway, I'm gonna try and go back to sleep.

Monday, May 01, 2006

make of me

I am a dreamer
an artist with wings
the wind is my shadow
and the sunrise my smile

I live for love
and die from love
for life is of loving

My heart....scarred, stitched, bruised
burned, yet strong and still beating
Yes...I still have room in there
for so much more

I've touched sunsets
kissed a muse while they slept
pulled feathers from branches
when I fell
then jumped willingly

into sadness

Now I pour the cleansing water
from my veins
into the cup
and I offer you more
of myself


I'm not quite sure what came over me. I just sort of sat in front of the screen and this wrote itself. I reread it twice and there are so many stories in this...*sigh*...I must be tired. Okay, perhaps a little weary. Lot's on my mind-people in my heart. LOTS of people.... I sure hope I can get rid of some of this...this...STUFF when I'm on vacation. So much happened today. I'm not gonna think about it. I'm gonna stand in a hot shower and wash it all away :-) Good night, my dears. Pleasant dreams.