Sunday, June 18, 2006

Insomnia

whoa...I have about 4 poems floating around in my mind and they all want to come out at once. I tried to go to sleep about an hour and a half ago with now success. :-/ I don't like this one bit. At least the house is quiet even if my mind isn't.

*sigh* I've aged a lot these past couple of years...okay, moreso in the past 10 months. heh...enough time to have a baby, but I don't. The familiar pang of wanting another little one has been hitting me hard. Could it be that this nine month old who came in with his parents today wedged these feelings back into my heart? Not likely....I'm just one of those women who loved being pregnant...it was a form of unconditional nurturing and love on my part, I guess. But he was gorgeous and he had the most wonderful gummy smile and such a powerful aura of innocence. Talking to him and seeing him respond to me in such an enthiusiastic way...oh, man...I so wish I could get that back again. Everything seems to come with strings nowadays. He melted a few frozen shards that were embedded in my heart. I felt renewed. lol...I bet that sounds silly, huh? But, it's the plain and simple truth.

So, it's fathers day and I haven't gotten anything for my dad, husband or father-in-law. Technically, I'm supposed to be getting up early to buy last minute gifts. Hmmm....I wonder if this qualifies as early? *shakes head* Ugh...I know I'm tired. I had a really long day today. It's been a rough four weeks. Isn't it supposed to slow down when the summer rolls around?! Geez, I hope so, coz this pace is gonna kill me. Goodness. Now that I've whined enough for the day, I'm gonna try and so something productive, since I'm obviously NOT sleeping! Gonna hit my notebooks in hopes of completing something. Wish me luck ;-)

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