from my myspace blog

mindless nonsense
Current mood: calm
Category: Blogging


Geez...I wrote a whole lot about nothing the last couple of days. I guess my mind has been a little preoccupied. My writing's been a bit forced lately. I've been reminding myself to write something, ANYTHING, really just to keep up the exercise. I'm dealing with a case of writers block again and it really aggrivates me. It's been a week since I've finished any creative writing. AAAARRRGGHH!!!! My muse is on vacation again, DAMNIT! All I've been able to do is read some of my old stuff and tweak here and there, but I can't seem to finish anything. I REALLY, TRULY NEED A VACATION. "Disappearance act wanted. Please call Mary at 1******-**** with any information" lol...now I'm just being a dork.

Oh, here's something you all don't know. The corporate frameshop coordinator has it in for me. She doesn't like me. I got a weird vibe from her the day I interviewed with her. I already HAD the job, I basically spoke in front of her as a formality. Anyway, yeah, she called my boss to have a meeting about me and had HR in as a witness. She was complaining about my performance! MY performance. I WORK MY FREAKING ASS OFF IN THAT PLACE!!! It also doesn't help that she favors someone else that works under me. Hello...favoritism, ie, preferential treatment...., unethical and illegal!!! Grr...That woman has the drive and management skills of a doorknob. And, my boss....gotta love him....bit back and she couldn't prove a damn thing she threw at him. *sigh* It's nice to be validated. There were three points that were brought up and were very valid, but it's stuff that we had already talked about and I'd already been working on and anything else my boss was unsure of, during OUR meeting, I clarified everything. So there! I just don't understand how and why these miserable little people have the audacity to try and bring up beat, positive people down. I'm a little person in stature, yes, but I got a WHOLE LOT O' HEART. People who really know me KNOW that!!! There's a whole lot of love in this body. Don't bring out the dark side. It's not pretty.

Okay, so, now I gotta go. Gotta take my boy to school.

Kindred

I woke up this morning coughing my lungs out, but in good spirits. In this I mean I actually got up, colored my hair (yet again!lol) and did something I'd been meaning to do for two weeks now. I got the balls to call Erin up!!! (Erin, you're not the only wuss!) I am so glad I called. I think today just turned out to be the day we needed to speak to each other. I think, had I called when I'd initially intended all we would have gotten out of each other would have been sobs and wails...ugh...not today!

ERIN IS SUCH A SWEETIE!! Oh, man. If I didn't love her already. We were on the phone forever...well, okay about 40 minutes, but that's a long time for a couple o' gals that haven't "spoken" to each other before. It's so cool. I finally got to hear her voice after "knowing" each other for...for, omg, almost three years now through Moontown. Wow. I can't believe it's been that long. Loooove the southern drawl. Erin has a nice voice. Now, my voice, on the other hand, probably sounded like a frog. lol This damn cough has done a number on my larynx. Yup! If you didn't believe it before, you do now. I'ma SoCal goofball and damn proud of it!

So nice when kindred spirits connect. She's one of my Moontown sisters. I'm so blessed.

WE are officially paid artists!!

Yay!! We, Mike C. and I, sold our first piece today!! Over a year has gone into this project and we finally have something to show for it. So weird looking at the check...

In the Absence of Light

Sometimes, in the absence of light,

I see you

You have an uncanny way

of showing yourself when I am weak



That has been a lot lately



You spring from echoes of yesterday

and the beckoning of tomorrow



Where are you?


Silly me...I know where you are

Here in the folds of my heart

and the starlight of a winters night



You are in the prints that cover my fingertips

and the scent that clings to my skin



Gone, but not forgotten



Stop staring at me and,

in time, perhaps I won't remember....



Or, maybe,


I'll forget to breathe

Well, well....

It looks like blogger has righted itself and with it came my page! Yay. Hopefully posting won't be such a hassle, for a while anyway. Today was something else. Sadly, I'm too tired to write about it. Getting the flu and having two kids get it right after can sure sap your strength AND your budget! $42.00 for antibiotics. Grr...yes, I am bitter. It just makes those damn pills even harder to swallow. Oh...I'm going to bed now. I'm whining and I don't like whiners. lol...good night, all.

Wow...it finally let me post it!

Here's another piece in a series I'm doing. It depicts a period in my life and what music I was listening to. I have a few more I have to finish on this one, but just haven't gotten back to them. Maybe now, I'll be motivated to do so :-)

Grrrr...

okay...I've tried to upload two more pieces at least a dozen times and the damn things won't take. I guess that's a pretty big hint that I should try again later OR NOT AT ALL!! *sigh* What's the deal?! Now that I'm thoroughly frustrated, I think I'll go now.

Pencil art

I did this piece years ago. I think it's at leat five years old. Even here you can see my affinity with the moon.

more artwork

I'm working on a series and these are the two I have so far. The canvas of the pouty lips isn't quite finished yet. You can see the difference in color and finish between the two. I still need to finish the shading (probably a few more layers of acrylic) and the gloss coat. It's been so much fun doing this again. I'd forgotten that I had other "poetic" outlets.

I have other pieces of art that I'd completed years ago, mostly pencil drawings, that I actually framed. I have a sense of renewed gratification that I was the one that did them. lol...silly, I know, but at least I can see what I've accomplished along the way. Hope you enjoyed. Perhaps I'll post the other pieces later.

Paintings

I just wanted to share a couple of paintings that are being used as part of displays at my work place. I'm so lucky to be able to do this. I have a few others that I'll be posting later. I hope these help to brighten your day!! They've certainly brought plenty of light to mine!

meandering through the night

I've completed two canvases today. I promise to post pics of my artwork soon. I'm very happy with them and would like opinions. However, it shall have to wait. I am just taking a leisurely trip around the word via the internet and it's very calming at the moment. I'm hoping my meds kick in soon so that I can have a decent nights rest. Please, let it be so. And, with this, I will say...."Good night". I shall return with photos.

*sigh*

Ah...my blog. How I've neglected you. I've been sick (the flu), you know and it's difficult to sit in front of the computer and type, let alone think, or vise-versa, for very long. Perhaps tomorrow will be a better day.....

must get back to dinner

AAAARRRRGGHH!!!

What the hell is going on with BLOGGER?! I've edited my last post 6 damn times and it isn't freaking doing what it's supposed too.... grrr....I'm so freaking frustrated. Oh, sh*t, I should be doing something else anyway. *sigh* I'll try again tomorrow. I won't be able to get anything done anyway.

Mist Before Morning

so....

this is what it's like to fly

unencumbered by a body

that was never really mine

floating ethereal

like the colors

of the aurora borealis sky

swift, fleeting...

nowhere and everywhere at once

I fall upon you

like mist before morning

wake for me,

but not in daylight

arise in dreams

so we may dance upon

the silver blue rays

of the moon

I will bare my soul to you

there

on the crest of sunrise

where we shall share

our love eternal

with the world

Concrete Jungle

With lithe and cat like grace I stretch
and claw the earth beneath me
My hair billows around my face-
a mane for queen of beasts

I prowl the streets of this desolate city
in search of a meal
perhaps a game of chance
with my prey...

Who will dance with this female ?

Don't answer...don't speak
silence is a weapon and protection
Listen to these talons scrape and scar
the concrete as I circle

Don't run away
bow down and pray in pius gesture
just one SNAP of my jaws
and your pain will disappear

Your cries of mercy fall

No one is listening
struck dumb to everything
but the sounds of their own rotation

Little do they know their turn
comes next

Kisses for Breakfast

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kisses for Breakfast
Fall leaves gathered in a crush of color
littering the pavement with splashes of
crimson, auburn and gold

As the wind slowly cooled
I’d awaken to frost on the windowpanes
and fall asleep with the chill in the night air

Autumn so reminds me of you...
I remember the mornings we shared
when you slept restlessly and I’d kiss you awake

I’d softly call out your name
as I’d lay my hand gingerly
on your sleep-warmed face

You’d quirk your brow
and slowly open an eye
as you’d smile in recognition of my voice

“Good morning” and a kiss was customary
as I’d watch you wriggle and stretch
trying to fight away the sleep, but sorely losing

All I wanted to do
was crawl into bed
and dream along with you...

Fall comes again and the wind cools once more
as I relive a history
I shall never forget

Time has passed and those colored leaves are gone
Yet I remember the kisses for breakfast
and how I fell in love with you

Twisted Wings

With twisted wings I faltered
My heart still beats thoughit's no longer whole.
To test the strength I have within
I danced upon the ice
and I fell through

A weathered, melancholy overture
keeps playing
corrupted by the passing of time.
A rusty, swinging gate of absolution
flies open to the floods of memory’s demise

If only I could reason with my thinking
instead of feeling everything within.
Then maybe I could pick up all the pieces
that broke when I found myself again

I've tripped upon the roots of complications.
I’ve dreamt of what my life could really be
if I could fly within this grand illusion
beside my dreams on tattered, twisted wings


written 10-19-03

A Love Story/Adonis and the Pagan Moon
~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~



Sea spray scatters as the crescent moon
moves upon the ocean dance floor
her gown of silken silver flows
about her with each swoop and sway

She dances for Adonis as he watches her
from his perch within the evening sky
His shoulders do not tire from the burden
of the world for he would carry the universe,
if only to watch her dance

The northern lights illuminate the love-drunk
visage of the two so far and yet so near to
never and forever, yet still they yearn
For, what is an existence without love?

They speak in silence, for love transcends
all language…all thought
There are no words; no use for them
For what they need, they see within each other
So, she shall dance and he will watch in silence

This, their love eternal, between Adonis and
the pagan moon

Not In the Stars


You’re a modern day Romeo

with baggy jeans, a leather cap-

part of the hip-hop scene.

I’m a 21st century Juliet-

long, black hair and tight blue jeans,

living life with the shades down.

Then you stepped onto the floor.

Your eyes reached for me

and I felt their soft caress

I don’t know what you saw in me;

all you said is,

“No one is like you.”

Don't know how it happened,

but I fell in love.

You fought it, but you fell too.

I tried to keep my feelings to myself,

but you broke me down-

and our love affair began...

You pulled me into your circle

with a gentle brush of your hand,

but then you wanted more.

There I stood in the battlefield

of my weary heart-

sword in hand, shield in the other

and I lost.

Remember the first kiss;

your grandma’s basement;

the apple slices that dripped juice down my chin...

the late-night rendezvous in candlelight,

when you were stoned,

and I was drunk on you?

Should have never been together,

but couldn’t stand to be apart-

for what was wrong, was everything

that’s right.

Five o’clock in the morning

when night turned unto day,

you walked away with my love

and left the scent of you behind.

It’s burned into my senses.

The feel of your body

deeply etched into my fingertips.

I watched you walk out that door,

a bounce in your step,

a crooked smile on your sultry lips...

As the tears of melancholy

whispered of our star-crossed tale,

I smiled, and softly said good-bye.

Published in the 2004 Moontowncafe calendar.

Please visit www.moontowncafe.com to read more of me and many other talented writers.

This is, of course, a poetry blog so I'm going to be posting lots of old favorites as well as new ones. I've written so much in the past five years and it's thanks to the coaxing of some very wonderful people. Thank you for the inspiration and the push!

pressed flowers


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If only I could save a kiss
between the pages of a book...

A white flower for the first,
blush pink for the in-betweens,
and blood red for the last good-bye

Just to have something tangible-
physical to look back to

Instead, the traces are invisible
Bruises and scars hidden by a smile-
lips deny what have already been said

pressed, once, against a windowpane
to melt your frozen heart

Now, you're gone;
yesterday took you back

And, I am left
wishing for pressed flowers

Midnight.....yup. Up late again. I was hoping to get some painting in, but I can't get motivated. Perhaps sleep would be a good alternative. Yeah....I'm thinking so. Hopefully I CAN sleep. Be back later......

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