PARTY RULES!

80'S STYLE

RULE # 1-YOU CAN'T TALK ABOUT ANYTHING UNLESS IT HAS TO DO WITH THE 80'S. IF YOU DO, YOU GET SMACKED. (THAT SOMEHOW GOT CHANGED TO TAKING A SHOT LATER IN THE EVE, BUT EVERYONE WAS PRETTY WASTED AND DIDN'T NOTICE!)



RULE # 2-YOU MUST CALL A "TIME OUT" IF YOU ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO TALK ABOUT SOMETHING OTHER THAN THE 80'S OR ELSE YOU TAKE A SHOT!



RULE #3 (thanks Myra!)-DRINK!! DRANK!! DRUNK!!



RULE #4-DON'T TALK ABOUT WORK OR ELSE YOU TAKE A SHOT!



RULE #5-LOSE YOUR CUP, TAKE A SHOT!

I'm sure there was another rule somewhere along the line, but, for the life of me, I can't remember!

I just have to say that people were a little wasted! We had sangria, tequila, bombay, jim, ballatore and some other miscellaneous guests in the house and they got LOUD AND ROWDY!!

Hmm...let's see....there was a fall-turtle-style(with only a vague recollection of it the next morning! lol) A few people blew chunks! I was excluded, THANK GOODNESS!! 80's music filled the night air till after midnight and thankfully no cops came knocking on the door. I couldn't even keep up with the amount of shots that were doled out the very first hour and that's after we had already had a drink!! All I can say is I'm so glad we didn't have any vodka!! I was spared the chunkage this time. Tequila is my friend...lol...don't trip, but this is my drink count. I remember, so I wasn't that bad....

2 glasses of sangria, four shots of tequila, a shot of cinnamon schnapps (totally gross!) My brother in law caught me off guard and handed me the shot. It looked like the silver that we were drinkin' (duh)! Bleck! The after taste hit me like a brick! omg...*shiver*...a couple of bear(oops, I mean beer...still drunk?lol) shots (coz Robert was wasted) and a glass of spumante afterwards. hee-hee...and I wore heals all night!! I surprise even myself sometimes! I'll post pics later, I promise!

Connections

connections
Current mood: empathic
A crosspost from myspace.



there is a bond

that none can undo

it holds tight-a shackle



you've been in my circle again



a tip-toeing that I felt

as the wind swept by


It is you...



a rustle and crack

behind my kitchen wall

shows me where



you'd been dancing

on my shadow once again....

shadowed

there are stars out

they blind me like the setting sun

releasing tears

so long withheld

they burn



yet I continue to stare



I see your eyes there

in the eastern horizon

where heaven meets earth

and light and dark collide



the shadows speak, you know



when I sleep,

they enter the room

and my world spins

slowly out of control

blather

wind sings cold

gold dust shimmers
light flickers
and memories flash

sleep calls

mind won't answer-
nothing but a sing-song
sadness pays attention

I'm tired

of this motherf**cking
empty next to nothing
bit of darkness
that clings

can't hold the past
but the damn thing
won't let go
our hands are tied

and the humming
of electric current
laughs in earnest mockery

proud mama

CHECK OUT MY BOY! This is John, my oldest. He's fulfilling his dream! Wish I could fly like he can....

prepare

the wind whispers
through the trees

gently carrying
fall leaves
to the ground

it's cooler now
slower, preparing
for rest

the earth shall sleep
for a season-

winter

and awaken amidst
the call for rebirth
and a better day.....



~Mary

the absence of want

It's not the absence of want that has kept me from writing. I, like Erin, have not had much to say. It seems that many that I know and care deeply for are in the same kind of mental and emotional funk that I am in. There are a million different things that I could or SHOULD be doing, but, for lack of a better excuse, I just can't seem to find the energy. It's actually a bit of a major letdown for me. I've been trying to be so diligent when it comes to writing/creating, but I've not been successful as of late. Perhaps when the dam decides to break once more there will be another flurry of creative energy towards the NEED to create. Ugh...I just don't know. I've been down in the dumps lately and nothing seems to be able to pull me out of it. *sigh*

Next Saturday we're going to have a costume party 80's style. You know, the big hair, lots of make-up and shoulder pads the size of football gear and all is going to happen. I'm hoping that focusing on this little project will get me into a better mood. I promise to post pics of the insanity afterwards....I wonder what people are going to wear? This should be great!!

Now....to focus on some sleep...love you guys!

because I can't

I tried to turn my mind off early, but, as you can see, I'm posting this at almost 1:00 a.m. I'm so tired...so tired...I don't know how much more of this my body or my mind can take. I just want to be alone....alone to silence my thoughts....to try to let go, no BREAK these chains that I am shackled to. It's so hard to be where I am right now. I try to be the happy-happy person...the love all, be all that I once was, but something happened to that person years ago. I'm okay when the sun is out and there's a constant hum of activity to busy the mind, but lately....lately, when the shadows shroud my face, the tears flow freely, silently and there is no hand that will wipe it away other than mine...he'll never see them even as he lies quietly sleeping beside me, I'll never let him know that I still cry...that I'm still broken...that I don't know if I can heal to be the perfect mate that I used to be...tried to be, because....I can't. It hurts because my ability to open up is becoming more and more narrow and he's trying so hard to win me back....to recapture what we were...to be young with me again. But...I don't know how...I don't know if I can and it's getting us nowhere....nowhere...Can I please be nowhere for just a while? Just so I can get grounded again and I can sleep without tears soaking my pillow case......

Beautiful Nightmare/revised

jealousy comes in many colors
wearing masks full of promise
and smiles from lips that lie

I've seen it, felt it,
loved it, bled from it
find comfort in it

my beautiful nightmare
a tragic truth
so undeniably me


*Thanks, E! I just needed a kick in the arse. It's amazing what what three small words can do, eh?

buzz....

I'm restless. My mind is a jumbled mess of I-don't-know's, wish-it-was, and not-even-if-I-tried kind of thinking. So much going on and simply not enough at all. I took something for my allergies and you'd think I'd be sleepy, but even benadryl doesn't do JACK for me anymore. At this moment...at this precise moment....I wish I was somewhere warm, (a beach in ANYWHERE sounds nice)my toes digging in the moist, soft sand, a cool breeze gently mussing my hair staring, no, memorizing all the pits and contours of the moon just off in the distance....oh, please....anywhere other than inside my head! I think I could let go there, where no one knows me...just me, the sand, wind, crashing waves, the moonlit sky and my pen and paper. I could write a thousand poems or none at all and be.....be....well, BE and like it! I'd be content just to sit upon the sand, knees to chin, arms wrapped around my legs like a little kid, just listening to the many tiny voices of the night...of the world....of my heart. Tears could mingle with the salt in the sand and it would be alright because I was there in the moonlight, the night sky raining down its shadows upon me and I would be...alright...I would love and feel the infinite that is love. I could let go and "be".

Beautiful Nightmare

jealousy comes in many colors
wearing masks full of promise
and smiles from lips that lie

I've seen it, felt it,
loved it, bled from it
find comfort in it

my beautiful nightmare
tragic truth
undeniable