Sunday, September 03, 2006

confused

*sigh* It's been one of those days that challenge one physically, mentally and emotionally. I feel extremely sensitive and a little sad. I've run into so many people and made such wonderful friends and then I find something out that just disturbed me and made me feel betrayed, actually. To those who've known me for a while, or have read me for a while, do I come off as someone ingenuine? Have I ever given the impression of being unreal or a person with their own agenda? I know that there are those out there who have been hurt because they were too trusting. I happen to be one of those people, but that has never changed the fact that I still trust. I'm just a little more cautious. Does that make sense? I mean, when people are kind to me or ask me a favor, I don't automatically assume they're trying to make money off of me or hurt me in any way or that I'm going to be used. At least I don't think I do. Geez.

I should probably just forget about it, but the person who doubted me, I consider a very close friend. Perhaps it was just while they were in the thick of drama that they mistrusted? I just don't know. Regardless, I just have to keep believing and hoping in the greater good of the world. Otherwise, I'll end up to be a haggard old hermit without any friends or real connections. I just can't see myself that way. You know...I'll just say my little prayers and everything will be fine. I know it will.

Breathe and let go.......

6 comments:

Sir James Eric Watkins said...

I trust you with anything I have, including the endless amount of plutonic love I have for you. I don't worry whether or not that it be safe, this I know.

Move on to happier thought, my friend, not worth dwelling on. Be your wonderful self, and all else will fall into place.

~ James

Erin said...

Ingenuine!? Good lord woman, I can't think of many people more genuine, more trustworthy, or more real. Whoever says that isn't worth your time or energy!

Who is it anyway? I'm feeling the need to kick their ass.
*hug*
~E

westcoastmama said...

thanks guys. I really appreciate it.

James, I'm being good and I'm not dwelling. I guess it just bothered me, but I've let it go.

Erin, I knew you had my back.:-) It's cool. I'm over it. If anyone's gonna do any ass-kickin', it'll be done by me.

I love you guys. *hug*

dave said...

I met a Mary this summer. Her husband and six kids all have names that begin with 'A' so they all call her Awesome Mary.

You're an Awesome Mary too!

me said...

What I have known of you thus far, Mary, ~YOU~ my friend are the real deal. It's all I know and all i can say! Mwahs and hugs!

westcoastmama said...

lol...thanks Dave. You're pretty awesome too.

Mike...that's me :-)

You guys are the best. Thank you for reminding me not to give in or give up.