everytime I think I'm moving forward and I'll be okay, reality comes crashing down around me and I remember my history of 21 years. Why won't it just fucking go away? I just want to be able to let go and be completely happy again. Even knowing that I am loved just doesn't take all the pain away...at least not yet. I guess it's because I don't have that someone to lean on. I need that pillar of strength right now. Just for a little bit. Please Lord...help me. Strengthen me...
I have to get out of this house for a little while. I can't stay here. I've been alone all day and it was fine for a little while. It isn't anymore. Pray for my renewed strength, please....
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