sometimes, like this moment, i wish I could sleep and never wake up from my dreams. I wish that the earth would stop revolving and the sun would never rise or set again. Sometimes I wish that I'd been born immuned to love, to happiness, to hope, to fear, to sadness. I wish I was cold and unfeeling or just plain shallow and uncaring. As much as I know that Juan and I are doing the right thing by letting each other go, it fucking hurts damnit. It hurts. Some people are lucky and they never know the feeling of their heart being ripped out of their chest and burned in a funeral pyre. I'm raw and exposed. I feel like I've been turned inside out and there is no one that can fix me.
FIX ME GOD. MAKE ME CAPABLE OF BEING HAPPY AND LOVING AGAIN. PLEASE....OH, PLEASE.....please....
if I could empty all my sorrows
into oceans
and swim within the streams
swathed in amber sunsets
if only I could scream my pain
and leave it all behind
I'd live again
assured and knowing that
I'd love
if I could separate the rainbow
from the sky
and scatter all the color
into pieces
I'd gladly tear the promise
into nothingness
so pain will let me go
and I could love again.
3 comments:
Yes. We that feel "too much," it's a curse of sorts. I'm here for you in whatever way possible.
And my spirit, my love. It is everywhere. Breathe it in with the wind.
(Now I'm going back to read the poem)
back.
oh. I feel this. It's powerful...and well-written. I know I just said this in so many words, but, I love you. There's just something common to our souls. Perhaps pain, and love. The two are never far from each other.
*hugs* Thank you, my dear. I know and I feel. Love to you
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