Saturday afternoon....August 18, 2007

SUNSET BEACH
My parents came over yesterday and the kids and I were supposed to go with them to a church event in Seal Beach at the Naval Weapons Armory Beach. We got to the base entrance and the guard directed us to another entry gate off of PCH. So, off we went following the directions he gave us. I was driving so I had to pay attention. lol...kind of hard for me lately. The funny thing is, when we called one of the other church memembers to find out WHERE exactly it was, they said it wasn't yesterday. It's supposed to be on a different day! That means the bulletin that the church printed and distributed to the entire congregation was WRONG!! OMG...lol...So, we just decided to go to the beach anyway, since we were already there.

My dad was starving!! lol We were expecting to pig out on filipino food! But, since there wasn't any to be found, we stopped by Harry's Grill and had the slamminest burgers and fries. We ate on the patio upstairs and just enjoyed the breeze and the view. Rich is now determind to have something like that deck when he buys his house. I don't blame him! It was perfect out there.

So, after our REALLY late lunch, we went to the beach...that is after we circled the parking area three times before we found someone leaving! It was packed yesterday....but not as bad as Laguna or Corona Del Mar. We broke out the cooler with our drinks and snacks, beach blanket, towels...etc and headed out to the shore. I could have stayed there until the sunset. I'm going to have to do that again. I haven't seen the sun set at a beach in forever!! Yeah, anyway, we all just kind of hung out enjoying the sun, the sea breeze and the sand. Anyway, it was a pretty good day.

too damn tired

feeling blue....anybody got an airplane I can borrow???
how is it one can feel so utterly and completely loved and be so unbelievablely sad a the same time? That is just the norm for me lately. These highs and lows are kicking my ass and I have no way to control them. I know I'm supposed to go through them. Yes, I am a stronger person, but I want someone to lean on. I hate being the only dependable one around.

I need to lean on someone for support. I need...I need...money so I won't NEED anyone. Fuck.

taking a break from cleaning

You are The Empress

Beauty, happiness, pleasure, success, luxury, dissipation.

The Empress is associated with Venus, the feminine planet, so it represents,
beauty, charm, pleasure, luxury, and delight. You may be good at home
decorating, art or anything to do with making things beautiful.

The Empress is a creator, be it creation of life, of romance, of art or business. While the Magician is the primal spark, the idea made real, and the High Priestess is the one who gives the idea a form, the Empress is the womb where it gestates and grows till it is ready to be born. This is why her symbol is Venus, goddess of beautiful things as well as love. Even so, the Empress is more Demeter, goddess of abundance, then sensual Venus. She is the giver of Earthly gifts, yet at the same time, she can, in anger withhold, as Demeter did when her daughter, Persephone, was kidnapped. In fury and grief, she kept the Earth barren till her child was returned to her.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

this is so me...

Your Superpower Should Be Manipulating Electricity

You're highly reactive, energetic, and super charged. If the occasion calls for it, you can go from 0 to 60 in a split second. But you don't harness your energy unless you truly need to. And because of this, people are often surprised by what you are capable of. Why you would be a good superhero: You have the stamina to fight enemies for days Your biggest problem as a superhero: As with your normal life, people would continue to underestimate you

What Should Your Superpower Be?

trying to let go

There are times when I just want to tell the world to let me off. Everything around me keeps moving and I seem to slow even futher than I'd already been going before. Don't get me wrong, I know good things are coming, but, in the meantime, I feel hurt...used...old and run down. I try not to present that to the world so much 'cause it just doesn't do me any good. At the same time, though, playing happy-happy wears thin. I flunked out of my last classes. I got sick and so far behind I just couldn't do it. Not good. What did I do to myself? If it wasn't for all the bills stacking up all around me I'd be fine. I hate barely scraping by. Hell...I'm not scraping by. I can't pay my fucking bills. I haven't even had the energy to write anything substantial. I NEED A VACATION SO BAD!! But, who the hell am I kidding? At the rate I'm going, I'll never have another vacation for the rest of my life..





I need you

I just want to hold on

let me lean into you

everything is so wrong



you're the only thing

I have going

You're what keeps me

hanging on



I need you



I need you to lean on



surround me

please don't let me go

let me cry in the circle of your arms

until my tears run dry



just once

let me stay

let me lie here beside you

until the monsters go away



the distance

I want you here now

to tell me everything is fine

even if you don't know how



I'll believe you

because the words came

from your lips



please


just for a little while

let me stand beneath

the shadow

of forever.


*sigh* On the upside...my friend is visiting from Virginia the end of the month and so is my oldest son. That will be wonderful...not to mention my muse will be here for a month. Thank God for small mercies... I just want to be held.

What Kind of Panties Are You?

You Are Lacy Panties

You're one seductive chica, but you've also got a ton of class. You are like a pinup girl, with timeless beauty and sexiness. Men are afraid to talk to you, knowing they'll be addicted to your charm immediately. Only a true manly man, confident in himself, is your perfect match.

What Kind of Panties Are You?

lol...I'm bored, okay?!

What Type of Passionate Woman Are You?

Your Passion is Red!

You've got that spark - a good dose of intensity, power, and determination. You do whatever you want in life ... to hell with what anyone thinks! With so many interests and loves, you're always running around doing something new. You have fire in your eyes, and it shows. Bet you're even wearing something red!

What Type of Passionate Woman Are You?

What planet should I rule...this is kinda true :-)

You Should Rule Jupiter

Huge and hot, Jupiter is a quickly turning planet with short days and intense gravity. You are perfect to rule Jupiter, because you are both dominant and kind. You have great strength and confidence, but you never abuse your power. You are always right. Even if you make mistakes, you compensate for them... before anyone knows it. Headstrong and ambitious, you always have a goal in mind. You are optimistic and believe thing things will always work out.

What Planet Should You Rule?

Am I an "It Girl"....supposedly

You Are an "It Girl"

You're outgoing, friendly, and charismatic. You are aware of your image, and you are constantly improving yourself. You're definitely the type of girl people love to be around!

Are You An "It Girl"?