trying to let go

There are times when I just want to tell the world to let me off. Everything around me keeps moving and I seem to slow even futher than I'd already been going before. Don't get me wrong, I know good things are coming, but, in the meantime, I feel hurt...used...old and run down. I try not to present that to the world so much 'cause it just doesn't do me any good. At the same time, though, playing happy-happy wears thin. I flunked out of my last classes. I got sick and so far behind I just couldn't do it. Not good. What did I do to myself? If it wasn't for all the bills stacking up all around me I'd be fine. I hate barely scraping by. Hell...I'm not scraping by. I can't pay my fucking bills. I haven't even had the energy to write anything substantial. I NEED A VACATION SO BAD!! But, who the hell am I kidding? At the rate I'm going, I'll never have another vacation for the rest of my life..





I need you

I just want to hold on

let me lean into you

everything is so wrong



you're the only thing

I have going

You're what keeps me

hanging on



I need you



I need you to lean on



surround me

please don't let me go

let me cry in the circle of your arms

until my tears run dry



just once

let me stay

let me lie here beside you

until the monsters go away



the distance

I want you here now

to tell me everything is fine

even if you don't know how



I'll believe you

because the words came

from your lips



please


just for a little while

let me stand beneath

the shadow

of forever.


*sigh* On the upside...my friend is visiting from Virginia the end of the month and so is my oldest son. That will be wonderful...not to mention my muse will be here for a month. Thank God for small mercies... I just want to be held.