Another year older

*sigh* Yet another birthday. How did 36 years pass so quickly and another come up even faster. 37....who'd have thought? Do I get to stop aging now? yeah...right.

Gonna go out with the girls tonight to celebrate. Miss you all. Happy holidays.

holiday strife

I NEED A FREAKIN' VACATION!!!! *sigh* I just thought I'd get that out in the open before I burst! It's been a very trying holiday season. I've been having issues with my car (it's in the shop for the third time in three months), work is too damn busy, and home is very trying. There just isn't enough breathing time as of late. The family has been going to the gym at least three times a week, so that part is good, but we're being faced with a really big change. Juan's facing a layoff at the end of January. He has something that he's been working on within the same company, but we haven't heard anything definite yet. No time is ever a good time for a layoff, but damn, why, of all times, NOW?! I have to look into getting insurance with my job. That's going to totally eat up my paycheck, but at least we'll be covered in case someone gets sick. This bites.

I suppose if I'd already gotten my raise and it was substantial enough, then I wouldn't bother with it so much, but I haven't so, I will. Grr...such is human nature. I just have to remember to slow down a bit and say just a few more prayers. Anybody care to join me? AND, I have writers block AGAIN, DAMNIT!! I do NOT enjoy this mental overload, I must say. It's so unbecoming and I can feel the gray hair sprouting. ugh...let's just add vanity to it all, shall we?! At least the kids are being understanding. They all know how tough it's been lately. We have good kids and I am very much blessed by that. I know that this post was mostly pissy, but I also know that there are others not so fortunate out there. My heart and my love and prayers go out to them. This time in particular is one of the times I wish I had an unlimited amount of income so that I could share it with all those that I love. The cash, I don't have, but the sentiment I do. To my readers, all 4 of them, (lol) thank you for your friendship, may you have a holiday filled with blessings and love. And, THAT is how I'm going to end this post!

Fucked-up kind of wonderful

Fucked-up kind of wonderful

put down your weapon
my transient incidental
and look at me for once
the knife is in your hand-
I didn't see it

I think I'm dying

You took from me
the everything I gave...
my love, my soul

we were a beautiful mistake,
I guess that's all

But I keep looking
out this window

staring

at the trees that move
within the breeze
that's you

a stain, a scar
a beautiful tattoo
a fucked-up
kind of wonderful

that's me and you

our story's still being written
with pen that bleeds deceit
and it will run
until it's dry

and I become the beautiful,
fucked-up liar
that you are