Back to life...the beginning of a love story

I started going to karaoke spots on Friday's and Saturday's with my friends when I didn't have the kids. It was petrifying and exhilarating at the same time going back on that stage. I'd forgotten how good it felt and how much I'd really missed singing.

On an off night, when I was really not feeling myself, my friends and I decided to go out on a Thursday...not typical of us at all considering we all had to go to work the next day. It was a nice quiet night and we got to sing quite a few times. It got late very quickly, but I couldn't see myself going home. I told my friends it was okay, that I would be okay, even though they were leaving me alone at a "bar".

I had brought my notebook and thought I might be able to do some writing while I listened to the singers. I sat tucked in a corner alone at a table on a day I didn't normally go out and was actually comfortable with myself. It had only been a month since I'd moved into my new apartment and started living alone and then he came in. I hadn't noticed him at all. I was trying so hard to make something jump from my mind and land onto that blank piece of paper. Then the KJ called me up for another song and I went on stage. I put my heart into that song and, as I was leaving the stage, I noticed him.

It's was kind of dark in the bar, but he wore his sunglasses. He had his hair combed into a perfect pompadore and wore a long black trench coat with the cuffs of his unbuttoned sleeves hanging out of the sleeves of his coat. Even with his shades on I could feel him staring, but, oddly, I didn't feel uncomfortable at all. He clapped and said I did a good job. It turned out that he didn't feel like staying home and had come to listen to the singers as well on a date he didn't normally go out and I happened to be sitting at his "usual" table. It felt natural being in this place talking to this man whom I'd never met before. He took off his sunglasses to speak to me and I was caught off guard by the most riveting eyes I'd ever seen...so beautiful...depending on the way the light hit his face, his eyes looked green, pale blue or gold. I was mesmerized. We shared each others souls at that first glance.

They called him up to sing and he sang "Can't Help Falling in Love" by Elvis Presley. I came to find out later that he hardly ever sang, but, that night, he sang to me. It was beautiful. He was such a gentleman, softspoken and very polite. Apparently he recorded my performance on a digital recorder he always carried and was kind enough to share the recording with me. He'd asked me for my number, but I explained that I was comfortable giving out my number since...well he understood, but I called my number from his phone so I could get his number and I watched him erase my number from his phone. I wrote it down in my notebook and had intended to call him when I was ready. Fate should have it that I misplace the notebook and life got in the way. We ended up talking for three hours that night. It was wonderful...

to be continued.

a change in gear...

As I said in an earlier post, it's been quite a while since I've posted anything consistently. Basically, here is the reason why...for those of you who know me or my history, it really goes without saying. Yet, I know there are many that will read know nothing about me at all, so let me start at the beginning.

Three years ago, January 2006, my divorce was finalized. After 21 years of being with the same man, I found myself "unattached". I felt so alone and so worthless. I felt such a loss and I was an emotional mess. My two youngest children were shuffled from house to house every other week, which was difficult for them and absolutely gut-wrenching for me. I built my life around them...being a mom and wife...and suddenly it was all gone. My oldest son living out of state, was devasted and very angry at his dad, but I think, was spared a lot of the hurt. He didn't have to watch or hear what was going on on a daily basis. My second son automatically took on the role of man of the house. He just assumed it was what he was supposed to do, but that put our relationship as mother and son on a different level.

I struggled horribly with finances, still in debt to this day, but no way to pay that debt back. $1900.00 a month for rent certainly didn't make things easy on me. All I wanted was escape. I did the seclusion thing for a few months and found that didn't do anything for me but make me more of a recluse and extremely depressed. I didn't show it to the world, but those who were close to me or had been through the same thing knew.

Finally, an old friend convinced me to go karaoke-ing with her. I thought, "Why not?! I love to sing." Besides, my kids kept telling me to go out, so I finally took their advice. Little did I know that this was to be the start of a grand adventure....

to be continued...

Okay...so, it's been almost two months.

*sigh* It's been a long a winding road. I've been a jewelry designing diva and loving it. My life has been surrounded by hustling to make my own business a success. I can't find a job so obviously, that's not what God wants me to do, so I listen. Life is so many kinds of crazy, but not nearly as it was a year and a half ago. I am loved and so in love....a forever kind of love...I want to shout it to the world and I will soon...so very soon. I am so blessed...thank you, my love, for being you...